Parenting is usually associated with good intentions and hectic days. Other words might be said innocently or even smartly at the time, but they will prove to be more lingering than anticipated. Young and grown children have a tendency to remember what words were said to them and how they felt instead of what was said. With time, recurring messages may form their perceptions, their capabilities, and their position in the world. This does not imply that parents should always talk in a perfect manner. It merely serves to stop and see what seemingly harmless expressions may actually be demoralizing instead of encouraging. Even a small amount of knowledge may be a long step toward trust, confidence, and emotional safety at any age.
Because i said so
Although it can be efficient, this reaction might reduce the possibility of inquisitiveness and perception. Children can be deprived of the opportunity to learn reasoning, limits, or values and can occasionally turn the rules into bafflers or injustices.
You always do this
The use of absolute language may be intimidating to a child. It can imply that they are characterized by errors and not transitional. In the long run, this may cause children to be afraid to make attempts or fear committing mistakes.
You never listen
This expression may be dismissive, though frustration may be actual. Instead of the children learning that both parties may need to be patient, clear, or timed more appropriately to make a connection, children may get the message that they are ineffective at communication.
Stop crying right now
Tears are usually indicators of unfulfilled needs or large feelings. Closing them can be a way of teaching the children not to express their feelings, rather than to resolve them. Learning resilience can also entail emotional expression, and not a weakness.
You’re just being lazy
This statement may disregard such factors as fatigue, disorientation, or insecurity. Children are also likely to start internalizing negative labels rather than being motivated to find out what is holding them back at that point in time.
I’m disappointed in you
The disappointment may be burdensome when it is not presented in context. Children can assume that it is not a matter of concern but rejection. Perhaps it is more important to pay attention to actions and learning and leave areas of reassurance and further contact.
That’s a silly question
Curiosity can be rather active and interested. Rejection of questions can lead to children’s future avoidance of more questions. Something as simple or repetitive as a question can be involved in the make-sense process of kids in the world.
You should know better
This expression presupposes knowledge that is not available yet. Children develop through practice, instructions, and errors. Repeating this may leave them ashamed instead of being encouraged, as they are still learning.
Big kids don’t act like that
The association of behavior with age may cause an urge to suppress emotions. Children can be pressured to mature emotionally faster than they are comfortable, rather than being taught how to use the proper means of expressing themselves at their own speed.
You’re overreacting
Emotions that are extremely real to a child can be reduced by this response. They might, in the long term, cease to exchange concerns or frustrations. Emotional validation is not necessarily agreeing, but it may facilitate trust and openness.
I was better at your age
Such statements can add silent pressure in order to attain an unrecognized standard. Children might think they are demoralized and not motivated. Each child develops in various conditions, and development usually appears in different forms between generations.
